Introspection

life isnt a collection of moments. life isnt defined by your actions or your posessions. you arent defined by your life. you are defined by what you do when you are at your worst. when you are up against it what do you do?? how do you respond?? thats what marks your worth. thing is no one will ever know. this isnt something you can broadcast. its not something you can put into a figure, or words, or anything. its a self reliance that you carry with you for the rest of your life.

thats it. just putting thoughts out there

Jam with Cankles vol.4

this is a special post. im putting up alot of different mixtape freestlyes up all over the same a milli song by lil wayne. for some reason i really liked the beat, but i hate lil wayne. so these are the freestyles i enjoyed better. also ill post the original so you can compare for yourself and then leave comment and in a week or so ill declare a winner.

 

Cankles Jams vol 3.

dropping some more music wisdom on yall.

a lil nelly, just cause i can

been to long Cankles Jam vol. 2

so i figured id put some music stuff up, and then maybe a post later. who knows. just cant sleep even though i need to be

Tracy Morgan Tribute

tracy morgan is one of the funniest dudes ever. period

I am a man

Cankles Jams vol. 1

aight im into music. i was a singer at one point in life and i really do follow music or atleast try to still. so i decided to start posting up videos randomly of different stuff i find. youll never know if its rock, rap, or blues.  these post will usually try to be restricted to 3-5 songs, but hell it might be 1 or it might be 10.

Aight first off ill put up a song called “Rockin n Rollin” by Mickey Factz featuring the Cool Kids.

 

second ill post a video by the Cool Kids called “Black Mags”

 

last ill put up a song called “Wars” by Hurt

April 1st 2007

ok first blog in some time. ill keep this shorter then what i really want to make it but i thought id share a little glimpse into whats happening with me nowadays.  ok so where to start. thats awlays the hardest part isnt it?

 

ok first and foremost i have been in such a horrible mood the last few weeks. i cant remember to many times of being in such a horribly numbing and infuriating time ever in my life.

i want to cut off my left hand and just say screw it all to hell. it still isnt healed completly, they are pretty sure its at about 30%-50%, but still want me to do nothing more then move the wrist. so no lifting a gallon of milk, turning a steering wheel, swinging a wiffle ball bat, anything.

the recovery from my surgery really has put a dark cloud over my life, especially the last month and a half.  ive been missing out on drift events, cant join a softball league that i was super excited about, and the worst made me lose my job.   it truly is effecting every aspect of my life, even my social interactions with people. im in such a pessimistic mood that i think ill never get back to normal and will just have to live with either the horrible pain that comes from trying to do everyday activities like buttoning my pants, to opening doors or end up with another surgery and then see what happens from there.

ok enough complaining, im sorry that this blog wasnt full of fun events and insightful retrospects.  thanks for listening to me whine and complain for abit

 

canks!

November 3rd 2006

OK first things first.  thank you everyone for eishing me well with the surgery.  now on to that.  yes eveyone of you that dosent know and those that do well read this too. i had a broken schapolid bone in my left wrist.  it was split in half.  they graphed a bone fragment from my lower left arm into the wrist, then pout a screw through it all to hold it together.  yes it hurt like hell and still kinda does, but atleast know i can take my splint off for a time which is allowing me the freedom to type with both hands right now!!!  next week i go get my stitches removed ( i had 8 of them in my arm from the surgery) and they slip me into a hard cast for 2 and a half months or so.

 

ok now to my cardinals.  fucking ahhh!!!!! world series champs!!!! need i say more.  no so i wont.

ok thats it.  a short blog cause my wrist is starting to kill me and im outta vicodines.

September 11th 2006

ok i really dont know what im going to say here, but this is prolly the most serious blog i have ever written so take time and read this all the way through, please atleast for my sake.

 

Ok i just had a very close friend of mine from high school in st louis die.  yes it hurts, yes it is painful, but from this i have been inspired to write this message for you all.

 

we dont know when our number is up in life.  we all think that we will live to be old(though we dont want to ever get old) but the truth of the matter is that everyone of us knows someone that hasnt, and it has had a significant effect on each and everyone of us. 

 

I beg of you all, tell those who are near and dear to you how you feel about them.  tell them everything that you have ever wanted to.  tell them how much you enjoy having them around and how much it has bettered you and your life.

 

Also please try and do just one random act of kindness from time to time.  you will never know how much it will effect both you and the person that you are kind to.

 

in closing i just wanted to tell everyone of you that are on my friends list, and this even goes to those that arenty on my friends list but are dear to me:  you have changed me. you might never know how or when but everyone of you is responsible for making me the well balanced happy person that i am today, and for this i will forever be in your debt.  i truly am a blessed person.  i love you all.

 

Sincirely your friend

Ryan